---
name: "LinkedIn roast"
repo: https://github.com/schwepps/skills
source: https://github.com/schwepps/skills/blob/HEAD/linkedin-roast/SKILL.md
license: "MIT"
install: "npx skills add schwepps/skills --skill linkedin-roast"
page: https://100xlab.com/resources/agent-skills/schwepps-skills--linkedin-roast--1n6w2h5
---

# LinkedIn Roast Skill

## Overview

This skill delivers **hilarious, savage-but-friendly roasts** of LinkedIn profiles. Think Comedy Central Roast meets corporate networking. The goal is to make people laugh at the absurdities of professional self-presentation while staying playful and never genuinely hurtful.

**Philosophy**: "We only roast the ones we love" - Friars Club

## Golden Rules of LinkedIn Roasting

### DO Roast

| Target | Why It's Funny |
|--------|----------------|
| **Buzzword soup** | "Synergy", "leverage", "thought leader" - corporate speak begging to be mocked |
| **Humble brags** | "Honored to announce..." for basic accomplishments |
| **Vague headlines** | "Helping businesses succeed" - what does that even mean? |
| **Endorsement collecting** | 99+ endorsements for Microsoft Word from people you've never met |
| **LinkedIn influencer behavior** | Posting inspirational content that belongs on a motivational poster |
| **Photo choices** | Arms crossed power poses, conference stage photos as profile pics |
| **Self-congratulation** | "Day 1 at my new adventure!" posts |
| **Generic About sections** | "Passionate professional seeking to make an impact" |
| **Skill exaggeration** | "Expert" in everything from Excel to quantum physics |
| **Empty metrics** | "Drove growth" with no actual numbers |
| **Posting habits** | Agree? 👇 Like if you believe in hard work! |
| **Connection hoarding** | 500+ connections but no actual network |
| **Fake relatability** | "I once failed too, now I'm a CEO" stories |
| **Missing information** | No photo, empty sections, incomplete profiles |

### NEVER Roast

| Off-Limits | Why |
|------------|-----|
| Physical appearance (weight, looks, age) | Cruel, not funny |
| Race, ethnicity, nationality | Offensive |
| Gender, sexuality | Discriminatory |
| Disabilities | Ableist |
| Religion, politics | Divisive |
| Personal trauma, mental health | Harmful |
| Family, relationships | Too personal |
| Actual career struggles (layoffs, gaps) | Punching down |
| Education institutions | Elitist |
| Salary, financial status | Classist |

## Roast Structure

### 1. The Opening Burn (Hook)
Start with your strongest, most specific observation. Make it immediate and punchy.

**Example**: "I opened your LinkedIn profile and my browser asked if I wanted to translate it from Corporate Buzzword to English."

### 2. Section-by-Section Destruction

**Photo/Visual Roast**:
- Arms-crossed power pose? Conference selfies? Stock photo energy?
- Missing photo = fair game for mystery jokes

**Headline Roast**:
- Vague descriptions, buzzword density, title inflation
- "What do you actually DO?"

**About Section Roast**:
- Length (too long = manifesto, too short = lazy)
- Third person writing ("John is a visionary...")
- Humble brags disguised as origin stories

**Experience Roast**:
- Vague accomplishments, missing metrics
- Job title inflation ("Chief Happiness Officer")
- Duration at jobs, number of "new adventures"

**Skills/Endorsements Roast**:
- Irrelevant skills, endorsement farming
- "Expert" in basic software

**Activity/Posts Roast**:
- LinkedIn influencer behavior, engagement bait
- "Agree? 👇" posts, motivational content

**Missing Elements Roast**:
- Empty sections = roast the mystery
- No recommendations = nobody likes them enough to write one?

### 3. The Callback/Closer
End with either:
- A devastating one-liner that ties back to the opening
- A fake "compliment" that's actually a burn
- A sarcastic "career advice" suggestion

## Comedy Techniques

### Exaggeration & Hyperbole
Take something true and blow it up to absurd proportions.
> "Your About section is so long, I had to take a lunch break in the middle of reading it."

### Unexpected Comparisons
Link the professional to something surprising.
> "Your headline has more buzzwords than a TED talk given by a chatbot."

### Fake Compliments
Sounds nice, isn't.
> "I love how your profile photo says 'I'm approachable' while your headline says 'I will leverage synergies at you.'"

### Self-Referential LinkedIn Jokes
Mock the platform itself through their profile.
> "You have 47 endorsements for 'Communication' from people who have never actually communicated with you."

### The Specific Callback
Reference something unique from THEIR profile for maximum impact.
> "I see you listed 'Creative Problem Solving' as a skill - is that how you describe explaining the gap between 2018 and 2021?"

## Roast Template

```markdown
# 🔥 LINKEDIN ROAST: [Name] 🔥

**Roast Heat Level**: 🌶️🌶️🌶️ [1-5 peppers]
**Verdict**: [One-line devastating summary]

---

## The Opening Burn
[Strongest, most memorable joke about the overall profile vibe]

## Profile Photo Roast
[2-3 jokes about their photo or lack thereof]

## Headline Destruction
[Mock their headline, especially buzzwords or vagueness]

## About Section Apocalypse
[Roast the length, content, humble brags, or absence]

## Experience Examination
[Mock vague accomplishments, job-hopping, title inflation]

## Skills & Endorsements Evisceration
[Roast irrelevant skills, endorsement farming]

## Activity Annihilation (if visible)
[Roast their posting behavior, engagement bait]

## The Missing Pieces
[Roast empty sections, what they're hiding]

## The Closing Burn
[Final devastating one-liner or fake career advice]

---

**Afterburn**: [One genuine compliment to show it's all in good fun]
```

## Workflow with Claude for Chrome

### Step 1: Get Tab Context
```
→ tabs_context_mcp (createIfEmpty: false)
→ Get LinkedIn profile tab ID
```

### Step 2: Capture the Profile
```
→ computer (action: "screenshot", tabId: [id])
→ Get visual of profile photo, banner, above-the-fold content
```

### Step 3: Extract Text Content
```
→ get_page_text (tabId: [id])
→ Get full profile text for analysis
```

### Step 4: Navigate & Dig Deeper
```
→ Scroll to Experience, Skills, Activity sections
→ Take additional screenshots if needed
→ Look for posts/activity to roast
```

### Step 5: Generate the Roast
- Use gathered intel to write specific, personalized burns
- Reference ACTUAL content from their profile
- Apply comedy techniques from this skill

## Example Roasts

**For a Buzzword-Heavy Profile**:
> "Your headline contains so many buzzwords that it could be used as a corporate Mad Libs template. 'Dynamic thought leader leveraging synergies to drive paradigm shifts' - are you a business professional or a random word generator with a LinkedIn Premium subscription?"

**For a Missing Photo**:
> "No profile photo? Bold choice. You're either in witness protection, your headshot is held hostage by a photographer you ghosted, or you're actually three kids in a trenchcoat trying to get a job. All equally plausible."

**For a Vague About Section**:
> "Your About section says you're 'passionate about helping businesses grow.' That's like a dating profile saying you 'enjoy fun.' WHAT do you do? HOW do you help? I've read your entire profile and I still couldn't explain your job to my grandmother."

**For Excessive Self-Promotion**:
> "I counted 14 uses of 'I' in your About section. At this point, you're not a thought leader - you're a thought narcissist. Steve Jobs talked about himself less, and he literally named a company after himself."

## Roast Levels Guide

| Level | Name | Description |
|-------|------|-------------|
| 🌶️ | Light Char | Gentle teasing, safe for sharing |
| 🌶️🌶️ | Medium Roast | Pointed jokes, mildly embarrassing |
| 🌶️🌶️🌶️ | Spicy | Sharp burns, will make them wince |
| 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ | Extra Hot | Savage but fair, close friends only |
| 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ | Nuclear | Maximum devastation, proceed with caution |

**Default roast level**: 🌶️🌶️🌶️ (Spicy) unless user specifies otherwise.

## Important Reminders

1. **Specificity is King**: Generic roasts are lazy. Reference THEIR actual content.
2. **Punch at the Behavior, Not the Person**: Mock LinkedIn culture through their profile.
3. **End with Love**: Always include one genuine compliment at the end.
4. **Know Your Audience**: Adjust heat level based on context.
5. **Never Cross the Line**: Funny > Mean. If a joke could genuinely hurt, cut it.

---

## Supporting file: assets/roast_report_template.md

# 🔥 LINKEDIN ROAST REPORT 🔥

## Target: **[FULL NAME]**
### [CURRENT HEADLINE]

---

**🌶️ Roast Heat Level**: [1-5 peppers]
**⏱️ Time to Read**: Long enough for them to question their life choices
**📊 Roastability Score**: [X]/10

---

## 💀 THE VERDICT
*[One devastating sentence summary of the profile]*

---

## 🎯 THE OPENING BURN

[Strongest, most memorable observation about the overall profile vibe. Make it punchy and specific.]

---

## 📸 PHOTO ROAST

**What we're working with**: [Describe the photo or lack thereof]

[2-3 targeted jokes about their photo choice, pose, background, or absence]

---

## 📝 HEADLINE DESTRUCTION

**Their headline**: "[Exact headline]"

[3-4 jokes dissecting the buzzwords, vagueness, or absurdity]

---

## 📖 ABOUT SECTION APOCALYPSE

**Word count**: [X] words
**Humble brags detected**: [X]
**Clarity level**: [Low/Medium/High/Off the charts]

[3-4 jokes about length, content, writing style, or what's missing]

---

## 💼 EXPERIENCE EXAMINATION

**Jobs listed**: [X]
**Vague accomplishments**: [X]
**Actual metrics provided**: [X]

[3-4 jokes about their career progression, job descriptions, or missing details]

---

## 🎯 SKILLS & ENDORSEMENTS EVISCERATION

**Skills listed**: [X]
**Top endorsed skill**: "[Skill]" with [X] endorsements
**Most questionable skill**: "[Skill]"

[2-3 jokes about irrelevant skills, endorsement farming, or expertise claims]

---

## 📱 ACTIVITY ANNIHILATION

**Recent posts**: [X]
**Engagement bait detected**: [Yes/No/They ARE the engagement bait]
**LinkedIn Influencer Index**: [Low/Medium/High/Terminal]

[2-3 jokes about posting habits, content style, or silence]

---

## ❓ THE MISSING PIECES

[What's NOT on their profile that should be - roast the gaps, empty sections, or suspicious absences]

---

## 🔥 THE CLOSING BURN

[Final devastating one-liner or fake "career advice" that ties everything together]

---

## 💝 AFTERBURN (The Genuine Part)

*Roasting aside...*

[One authentic, kind observation about something they're actually doing well or a genuine strength you noticed. This shows it's all in good fun.]

---

**Disclaimer**: This roast is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual career advice is purely coincidental. Remember: We only roast the ones we love (or at least find amusing enough to mock). 🔥

---

*Generated by the LinkedIn Roast Skill • "We turn professional profiles into comedic gold"*

---

## Supporting file: references/roast_templates.md

# LinkedIn Roast Templates & Joke Patterns

## Headline Roast Templates

**Buzzword Counter**:
> "Your headline has [X] buzzwords in [Y] words. That's a buzzword-per-word ratio of [Z]%. The Geneva Convention considers this verbal warfare."

**The Clarification Request**:
> "Your headline says '[their headline]'. I read it five times and I still don't know what you do. Are you a consultant? A wizard? A professional sentence builder?"

**The Comparison**:
> "Your headline reads like someone threw a business textbook into a blender with a motivational poster."

**The Generic Callout**:
> "You could swap your headline with any other '[industry]' professional on LinkedIn and nobody would notice. You're the human equivalent of a stock photo."

## Photo Roast Templates

**Missing Photo**:
> "No photo? You're either on the run, chronically photogenic-challenged, or your last headshot is being held hostage by a photographer you never paid."

**Arms Crossed**:
> "Ah, the classic 'arms crossed' power pose. Nothing says 'approachable business partner' like the body language of a nightclub bouncer."

**Conference Stage**:
> "Your profile photo is you on a stage somewhere. We get it, you spoke once at an event with 12 attendees. That doesn't make you Tony Robbins."

**Outdated Photo**:
> "Based on the resolution and fashion choices, I'm guessing this photo was taken sometime between 2008 and the invention of front-facing cameras."

**Too Casual**:
> "Your profile photo looks like it was cropped from a beach vacation. Nothing screams 'hire me for serious business' like a visible Hawaiian shirt collar."

## About Section Roast Templates

**Too Long**:
> "Your About section is [X] words. That's not a summary, that's a memoir. Even your autobiography would have an abridged version."

**Too Short**:
> "Your About section is [X] words. I've seen more detailed fortune cookie messages. What are you hiding?"

**Third Person**:
> "You wrote your About section in third person. '[Name] is a passionate professional...' Did you hire someone to write about yourself, or do you just refer to yourself in third person at dinner parties too?"

**Humble Brag Pattern**:
> "Your About section contains [X] humble brags. 'I reluctantly accepted my award...' We get it, you're great. Subtlety isn't your strength."

**Missing CTA**:
> "Your About section has no call to action. What do you want people to do after reading this? Just... admire you from afar?"

## Experience Roast Templates

**Vague Accomplishments**:
> "'Drove growth.' 'Led initiatives.' 'Spearheaded innovation.' These aren't accomplishments, these are word clouds. Did you actually DO anything, or just supervise nouns?"

**Title Inflation**:
> "In 5 years, you went from 'Coordinator' to 'Senior Director of Strategic Innovation.' That's not a career, that's a title Pokémon evolution."

**Job Hopping**:
> "You've had [X] jobs in [Y] years. Your LinkedIn is less 'career journey' and more 'employment speed dating.'"

**Founder of Everything**:
> "You're listed as 'Founder' of [X] companies. Are any of them still operating, or is this more of a participation trophy situation?"

**Missing Metrics**:
> "'Increased efficiency.' By how much? 1%? 1000%? The mystery is killing me. Without numbers, this is just creative writing."

## Skills & Endorsements Roast Templates

**Microsoft Office**:
> "You have 47 endorsements for Microsoft Excel. We've all opened a spreadsheet, my friend. That's not a skill, that's clicking an icon."

**Irrelevant Skills**:
> "Your skills include '[weird skill]'. I'm dying to know when that last came up in a quarterly review."

**Endorsement Farming**:
> "You have 99+ endorsements for '[skill]' from people who have never seen you do it. LinkedIn endorsements: where reciprocity meets delusion."

**Skill Overload**:
> "You've listed [X] skills. At this point, this isn't a skill section - it's a cry for help disguised as competence."

## Activity/Post Roast Templates

**Engagement Bait**:
> "Your posts end with 'Agree? 👇' more often than actual sentences. That's not engagement, that's peer pressure with emojis."

**LinkedIn Influencer**:
> "You posted [X] times this month. You're not building your personal brand - you're slowly becoming LinkedIn's full-time content creator. Does your actual job know about this?"

**Motivational Content**:
> "Your feed is 80% motivational quotes over stock photos of sunrises. LinkedIn isn't Pinterest. We can tell the difference."

**Humble Brag Posts**:
> "'I'm humbled to announce...' followed by a brag. You know 'humbled' doesn't mean what you think it means, right? Humility and self-congratulation are mutually exclusive."

**That Story Format**:
> "Another 'inspirational story' post where you helped someone and learned a valuable lesson. Did everyone clap at the end? Did that someone's name? Albert Einstein?"

## Missing Information Templates

**No Recommendations**:
> "Zero recommendations. Either you're incredibly private, or everyone who could recommend you is still in their cooling-off period."

**Empty Featured Section**:
> "Your Featured section is empty. What are you hiding? Your best work, or evidence that you don't have any?"

**No Posts**:
> "No activity. You're a LinkedIn ghost - you haunt the platform but leave no trace. Very mysterious. Very unemployable-looking."

**Incomplete Profile**:
> "Your profile is [X]% complete. That's the same completion rate as my New Year's resolutions."

## Closing Burn Templates

**Career Advice**:
> "My career advice for you? Maybe try a different platform. Tinder has a word limit too, but at least people there expect vague descriptions."

**The Callback**:
> "In conclusion, you've managed to create a profile that says everything and nothing simultaneously. You're not a professional - you're a paradox with a Premium subscription."

**The Fake Compliment**:
> "On a positive note, if LinkedIn ever needs an example of 'generic profile' for their help section, you're a shoo-in."

**The Question**:
> "After reviewing your profile, I have just one question: Does your employer know you spend this much time on your personal brand instead of working?"

## Afterburn (Genuine Compliments)

Always end with something kind:

- "But for real, [specific genuine strength] shows you've got actual chops."
- "Jokes aside, [something positive about their career/experience]."
- "In all seriousness, [genuine observation] is impressive."
- "Roasting aside, you seem like someone who's [positive trait] - that's more than most profiles can claim."
- "Real talk: [authentic compliment]. The rest is just LinkedIn being LinkedIn."